If Clint and Natasha had kids, Part 1:

  • Amy: Their kids would be named Katniss, Legolas, Link, and Merida
  • Me: I have this thing in my head. Katniss would be like a little Clint
  • Amy: OMG
  • Me: And she is constantly unimpressed by Tony and Peter
  • Me: And just follows Clint around like a little shadow.
  • Amy: She's like Natasha, Independant, beautiful, badass, and she takes charge in the family
  • Amy: And doesn't take no sass from uncle Loki.
  • Me: She beats the shit outta Uncle Loki
  • Me: What if she, like, knew what Loki did to her father all those years ago.
  • Amy: ohgawddammit.
  • Me: And that's why Katniss hates Uncle Loki
  • Amy: Link is this very quiet but very skilled young man. He loves rolling in the dirt and playing outside
  • Amy: He gets in trouble, and has like this 6th sense kind of thing. He hides in places and uses the family as target practice.
  • Amy: And he trains with mommy tasha cuz they can do backflips and ninja moves.
  • Me: Merida spends time with with Uncle Bruce and her daddy a lot.
  • Amy: Merida has hawkeye's sass.
  • Me: And whilst she's a skilled archer, she takes more after her mother in skills.
  • Amy: She's just very sassy, and often Hawkeye has to be like "NATASHA CONTROL YOUR DAUGHTER"
  • Amy: And then, OMG, Merida likes Loki. SHE DOES WHAT SHE WANTS.
  • Amy: Like, "Fuck off guys, I'm going shooting!"
  • Me: Clint doesn't know how to be strict with her
  • Me: And when she 'does what she wants', Clint make 'Loki interventions'.
  • Me: Loki finds it very amusing, until Katniss comes to get her younger sister.
  • Both: Legolas would be the oldest, then Katniss, then Link, then Merida
  • Amy: So so Legolas, okay you'll have to do this Paige
  • Me: What if, just in contrast to them all being like Hawkeye, Legolas is very influenced by Tony and Loki and all his uncles, and he is like the rebelious teenager of the children.
  • Amy: LOL
  • Me: And he never listens, ever. And he isn't supposed to go out with the avengers, but he and Peter sneak out and go to help them all the time. Because, Steve and Tony, what if Steve and Tony didn't know Peter was Spiderman.
  • Me: So Peter sneaks out as Spiderman after his parents leave. And Legolas leaves Katniss in charge, and sneaks out with him as some other awesome superhero, with a full mask of course,. Can't have their parents finding out.
  • Amy: lol
  • Me: Can you imagine Steve, Tony, Clint, and Natasha when they do find out?
  • Amy: First thing Steve "TOOOOOOOONYYYYY HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE KEPT AN EYE ON THEM?!"
  • Me: Tony would flip on Jarvis to cover his own butt with Steve, Because Steve's mother bear rage is frightening.
  • Amy: Oh gawd. Steve mother bear. Thats so scary
  • Me: Clint would get that 'Disappointed parent' look, and just stare down Legolas, while Natasha chews him out. And Peter would try to slink away while Steve tears into Tony.
  • Amy: Natasha would just chew the crap out of Clint.
  • Me: Like "Why weren't you watching him? He's /your/ son! He never listens! Don't just stare at me with that emotionless face Clint!"
  • Amy: Clints just like 'Sorry Nat. I didn't mean to. KIDS LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER'.
  • Me: Clint's like, "*insert other generic parenting phrase here*"
  • Me: He really hasn't a clue how to parent.
  • Amy: While Natasha is just raging, Haha, None of them do.
  • Me: He's just a reinforcer for Natasha, like, "Listen to your mother" "Do what you mother says" "YOUR MOTHER IS TALKING TO YOU MERIDA"
  • Me: The worst is when Loki babysits
  • Amy: Haha, Natasha just complains to Clint, like Natasha says "YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU DID? HOW COULD YOU CLINT?" and Clint's like, ''Yes dear. Kids listen to your mother.'' and Natasha rages like YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE HAWKEYE. AN AGENT!!!'' leaving Clint to be all like "Im sorry dear.' and Natasha freaks and says "'TAKE THEM TO BED NOW'' and Clint just ushers them upstair "Come on kids oAo;;'."
  • Me: Natasha's favourite line "Clint do something about your son/daughter/children" whilst they all cling/dangling of her arms and annoy her.
  • Me: Clint is the bitch in that relationship. Alone time=Clint's favourite time.
  • Amy: Then, "DADDYDADDY! WATCH ME! DADDY I CAN RIDE A HORSE NO HANDS!" *falls off horse*
  • Amy: *Clint spits out coffee and runs to catch her*
  • Me: And Merida's just like "YAAAY DADDY! DID YOU SEE ME?!"
  • Amy: Katniss is close behind being all like, " I was never that much of a trouble right daddy?"
  • Amy: Link's there saying "DADDY I CAUGHT THIS THING I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT DOES!" And squirts this goop all over Clint
  • Me: And Clint just makes a sobbing noise, and gathers all the children up, and is like "TIME TO VISIT UNCLE BRUCE"
  • Me: And in the car Legolas starts to pester Link and tease him, and Clint just snap loses it and is like"DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS GODDAMN CAR AROUND!"
  • Amy: Natasha goes to pick their kids up, "OMG the house is messed up Bruce you didn't turn into the hulk did you?"
  • Amy: Bruce looks at her, "no that was your kids."
  • Me: And Natasha just glares and is like "Get. In. The. Car." and the kids all slink out of the house and Bruce is like "Why, why did they ever want four?"

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